Dreaded Isolation

Standing on the corner, watching all the runners go by

I stopped running back in July after an accumulation of foot/ankle/calf injuries gathered over the last two years finally started interfering with my ability to work and be a father. Prior to that I had things to get done, access to advil, and a willingness to be stupid.

And so a week or so ago, I was standing in Dryer Road Park at the finish line of the best short trail race of the year surrounded by friends and family laughing and smiling and totally alone. I think of Sonia Grondin and her stuggles since Ontario Summit a year and a half ago (so long...), and wonder if she feels the same. I know Eric Eagan does.

A week later, and maybe I'm starting to learn things

A long title describing a long introduction to something I learned last night that you all probably already knew

Several years ago, I was sitting in the Bishop's office (a Mormon bishop is the poor soul that is volunteered to lead a local congregation for a few years), and we were talking about friendship. We had a long earnest conversation about how Mormons were unusual in that we form such strong fast friendships without the usual friend things like bars and alcohol and hours watching football and other hang-out type activities. We both concluded the conversation as befuddled as ever. He is a hospital administrator, I'm a computer nerd guy, we barely even exchange a sentence once a month, but I would drop everything and rush to his help if he asked, and I know he would do the same (and has).

Mike Welden is... not my type. If you wanted to paint a portrait of boring fake 50s white upper middle class cisgendered normalcy, I may not be the first pick, but I wouldn't be out of place. He would. We've exchanged words several times, months apart. Neither of us remember the contents of really any of those conversations, we've been on the same track of dirt several times, and yet he was recently verbally assaulted by an internet troll and I didn't hesitate to break my normal silence to leap to his defense, and I know he would do the same (and has).

I could go on for ever with similar examples of people, but I think that these two are adequate for my point. I don't think friendship is forged by hanging out. I suspect friendship is forged by stepping outside your comfort zone together for a common cause.

And so, standing at a finish line of a race and cheering people, while distracting was simply some hang out time reaffirming that I still can stand the #TrailsRoc board. Yesterday, I spend some time on a roof (I hate hate hate hights) with a friend, and I came away feeling more whole and better about my self and the world.

Summary (finally)

Joseph Smith taught that "a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation". We mormons often see that word sacrifice and think tithing or some other triviality; but my friendship with God started when I was lost in the high Uintahs and we worked together to get me found. My friendship with Elnora strengthens every day as we try and fail and try again to raise three beautiful children. My fast friends in the trail running community came from tripping over roots and hitting heads and rolling ankles and pushing our bodies to their respective extremes. In each of these cases, I and the people I'm with are in the process of stepping outside our comfort zones, sacrificing who we perceive ourselves to be, binding ourselves together by loving ties.